Wednesday, 17 December 2008

The Bizarre Emails

It would be fair to say that while the vast majority of emails I receive are pleasant and helpful there are also some bloody weird messages that find their way to my inbox. I thought I'd share some with you. My replies are below. They are kind of fun to do and keep you occupied when you're ill.

"dear jonathan lee i hate u u know why beause my wish is about u coming to my city to see my dad who is man and my wish do not come so i like u before but now i hate u. Morgan."
Dear Morgan.
PS: I am glad your Dad is a man. This is not always the case.

"can you help me find address for maria sharipova? i like her tennis and want her tell me if i have good backhand. i think i do."
No, I can't help you find an address for Maria Sharapova and if I could do you really think I would give it to you? Your backhand is fine although I prefer your front one.

"Did you once go to Carlisle Elementary School in Texas? I think I knew you."
Yes. I was looking for the Airport.

"Hello Johnathon. What do you think of the economic climate? lol. Mike."
Hello Myk. It's underated. 

"Haven't we got enough Dave Gorman's in the world without you joining in as well?"
Don't worry, I've decided against changing my name.

"this blog is lik well fun i show me m8s an there laughin at it an say its sik an i sed i know u an they think im sik as well. thanx."
They are right. You are sick. I think it's affecting your spelling and grammar too.
PS: Stop meddling with your ankle tag.

"I really like you on 'Would I Lie To You'? Do you do anything else?"
Thank you. Did you prefer me as Lee Mack, David Mitchell or Angus Deayton? And yes, I do anything else. If the money's right.

"I've found you on a facebook and added you but you have not accepted my friend request. Why not?"
I'm sleeping with your Mum.

On a more serious note there was a very interesting development last week and i'll be updating the blog soon.