Saturday, 31 January 2009

A Quick Update

Nothing much has happened recently. Well, except the fact that I now have posters up in JFK Airport, Sydney and Fulham. 

My facebook friends requests have gone up by at least 3.7% in the last few weeks. I suspect as I happened to mention in a post below that I was on it. Maybe you thought it was a subtle cry for more friends. Alas, you were wrong. I already have more than I strictly require. Never fear though, I have come up with a compromise which one hopes will be to your satisfaction. I have been bullied into joining Twitter. I am sceptical of it but will give it a try. I'm not going to be posting about what I had for breakfast or which Starbucks I plan to be in later on, so if you want that sort of insight into my life you will be disappointed. I will, however, post updates about my quest. Does that sound fair? You can find me here 

Thank you for all the messages. If you haven't had a reply you will this weekend. That's a promise. I really want to start finishing my posts with a cool catchphrase. But I can't think of one. Bye is the best I have so far. Bye.

Friday, 16 January 2009

My next 'adventure'...

I use the word 'adventure' loosely because quite frankly it could turn, like this has, into a mission. Anyway, I was sat in the Apple Store in Bluewater yesterday waiting for my Mac to be fixed when I saw a fact on rather funky hi-tech plasma screen. Here is what is said...

"With an 80GB iPod, you could travel between San Francisco and New York 25 times without ever hearing the same song twice."

Well, it didn't take long for the light-bulb to flick-on in my head. 'Why not?', I thought, 'It could be fun.' It won't happen anytime soon what with me not having enough money to afford the fuel or indeed an 80 GB iPod, but someday. Someday. Oh and I will probably be after a Road Trip companion so if you are interested check-back in about 2011. I'll hold auditions in Burger King I think. Monday's. 2pm. See you there, yes? Good.

Saturday, 10 January 2009

Last Night

It's becoming a familiar tale. On Wednesday I say I think The Man could be in London. On Thursday I get an email from a guy in London who says he took a photo of someone who looks like The Man. He leaves his number so I phone him up. We arrange to meet on Friday night next to Nelson's Column. I'm there at 7pm. It's -2 already and not even my new hat is preventing my ears from turning blue. Damn you Ted Baker. At 7.30pm he still hasn't turned up. (The guy with his photo I mean, not Ted Baker). I get my phone out of my pocket. I call him. No answer. I leave a message. Ten minutes later I call him again. No answer. I'm not happy. In fact, I'm annoyed. I get my bus and go home.

Now I know it sounds like a bit of fun - making me hang around in sub zero temperatures while you are at home in the warm watching the Darts - but it's not very nice is it? I'm never going to turn down an opportunity to meet someone who might have vital information. The time I do will be the time the information is genuine. That's the way life works. It means I am open up to abuse. And abuse is bad.

It's not just the fact that I was bloody freezing though. What also annoys me is that, as strange as it sounds, I also have a life. Last night I had an offer to have a drink in the warm with a friend. But I had to say 'No' because some guy thought he'd be really funny. So now of course my friend thinks that I would much rather be sat at home starring at the wall rather than having a drink with her. Terrific. And I can't tell her why I couldn't have a drink because she wouldn't understand. I'll have to buy her a present now to show her that she is much higher up on my priority list than walls.

I have no option, therefore, but to make a plea. Please stop. Please stop the pranks. It's beginning to ruin my life and have dramatic consequences on the size of my wallet. Thank you kindly.

NB: If you want something else to read while you are sat at your desk supposedly working, may I recommend Mike Gayle's To Do List

Wednesday, 7 January 2009

Just When I Thought I'd Finished...

...I realise I am not.

Just before Christmas my good friend Sharn handed me this passport photo. He had found it in a derelict building site somewhere in London. Now, I know what you are thinking. I am thinking it too. It couldn't be, could it? It couldn't be The Man?

There have been sightings of The Man in London. From all the emails I have been sent, London is the most popular place for sightings. Indeed, I myself chased someone who I thought could be The Man through the London Underground system before I lost him at Bank. And now this passport photo. Gradually I am becoming convinced that The Man I took a photo of in Sydney actually lives on my very door-step. How weird would that be? And what happens if the guy in the passport photo is actually The Man? That would be even weirder. To think that a friend, who I didn't know when I took the Sydney photo, just stumbled across a passport photo of The Man. That's just too spooky. 

So here is my 2009 request for you. If you live in London please keep your eyes open. And if you spot someone who you think could be The Man, stop him. Get his phone number, his email, anything. Sightings are great but I can't do anything with them. I need to be able to contact them. Actually, do this wherever you are. At the very least you'll get a mention on here and that, I think you will agree, is CV material.

Right, I need a lie down. This is too much.